less guilt, more goodness
If you have lived a life solely driven by the opinions and approval of others, ..
If you have lived a life convincing yourself you’re eternally fucked up from your childhood and you’ll never be fully happy …
If you have lived a life full of put downs and criticisms simply for just being you, ..
If you have lived a life consumed by fear and as a result keep playing small to avoid any disappointment, ..
If you have lived a life wanting to implement boundaries but the guilt of putting yourself first is just too heavy, …
If you have lived a life of extreme hypervigilance in fear of what happens once you let your guard down, ..
If you have lived a life where asking for what you want has been constantly met with resistance and incidents with others calling you ‘incredibly selfish,’ …
Then girl you’re in the right place.
Let me guess — this is you;
- You’re educated and you get it; narcissistic abuse is fucking terrible.
- You’re hardworking.
- You’re ambitious.
- You’re a good listener.
- You’re compassionate.
- You’re giving.
- You give a shit about being the change in this world.
But this is also you;
- You’ve read all you can read on how to recover from your childhood but nothing seems to help long term.
- It’s difficult for you to ask for help and/or implement boundaries so you often get taken advantage of, — resulting in either pure rage or complete isolation.
- You have ideas upon ideas of where you want to take your life but the self-doubt is just too crippling.
- You end up listening way more than you end up speaking and in turn — internalize all that you’re feeling resulting in you feeling completely under prioritized and unimportant.
- You’ve been told love is ‘putting up with it’ and in turn have become excessively tolerant, leaving you drained and wondering if life is always going to be this hard.
- You’ve managed to surround yourself with one sided relationships/friendships that often leave you feeling unseen and unheard.
- You care, so you try to do everything and anything whenever you can — only resulting in you being worn out, stressed out and under stimulated.
And you’ve also likely asked yourself;
‘Is life always going to be this way?’
‘Am I the fucked up one?’
‘Am I ever going to find someone who understands me?’
‘How can a parent treat their child that way?’
And while you were dealt a shitty hand, .. I want to assure you that;
Your life is not a joke.
Your complicated feelings are valid.
And it’s really hard living a life while you are also learning to dream up worlds you’ve never known.
Relationships you’ve never had.
Love (s) you’ve never felt.
Things that take time.
And also things you so, so deserve.
But you need a plan and a strategy, — for long term success.
THE SCAPEGOAT DAUGHTER’S GUIDE TO
NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY
INSPIRED BY THE DESIRE MAP
My new signature and proven method to help you figure out who the hell you really are outside of the limiting beliefs, drama and chaos so you can finally build a life that no longer is full of stress and anxiety.
The Scapegoat Daughter’s Guide is a 1:1 personal deep dive coaching program for daughter’s of narcissistic abuse who are ready to figure out who they really are to better understand what is it they actually want for their lives without all the people pleasing and approval ratings.
The method walks you through the process of figuring out how you want to feel in each area of your life and what it will take to get there, developing your own identity, managing boundaries + codependency, understanding self-sabotage and where the fear of success and/or failure comes from, and much more … in just 8 weeks.
Trust me whatever you’re struggling with, … we’ve got it covered.
Trying to hustle your way through the pain and disappointment with distractions and short cuts, .. is not a sustainable solution.
And I know that you weren’t given this life to continue to play small and hide from the world.
Through my signature method I’m going to:
- Assess what’s currently going on with you to understand what your overall situation is.
- Help you develop and master your emotional tool kit to finally build your ideal life so you can now enjoy all the work you’ve put in.
- Guide you in organizing your thoughts and feelings to start building sustainable self-confidence and consistent clarity.
- Work with you to identify what is and isn’t working.
- Provide you with real and genuine support and share my honest feedback.
- Be your recovery bestie; listening, encouraging and creating with you through every step.
Truth is, there are no accidents.
You were chosen for this life and these circumstances.
To witness, to feel, to experience, to heal and to share.
That’s the silent beauty of this pain, .. it’s designed specifically for you to learn what your soul needs to learn.
And while to feel so unloved is an awful hand to be dealt, …
The fact that you were chosen for this experience is proof alone that you do have the strength, You do have the resiliency. Even when it may feel like you have nothing left to give.
Stay with me here.
I know that you know that you’ve been through a lot,
I also know , …
you’ve been doubted and dismissed for far too long.
you have no idea what it is you’re good at.
you’ve been conditioned to believe your thoughts and opinions don’t matter so you’ve chased an identity your whole life.
And really, without being so fixated on someone else (your mother, father, partner, kids — etc), you have no clue who it is you really are.
Outside of all the responsibilities you now have as an adult;
what is it that you actually want?
what does your body want?
what does your heart want?
what does your soul want?
it’s time to learn.
it’s time to give yourself the opportunity to go there.
to learn, to explore, to self-inquire, to listen, to be supported.
give yourself the opportunity to truly heal.
Join me and let’s learn how to become attracted to what’s healthy for us, so we can leave all of the old exhausted patterns behind.
HERE’S HOW IT WORKS: THE SCAPEGOAT DAUGHTER’S METHOD
each week you’ll be sent a workbook via email that you can either print out or refer back to as you work through the content in your journal of choice.
after completion, we will connect via zoom call (all virtual) for each of the eight 60 minute sessions, and go over what came up for you, strategies for moving forward and any other comments or questions you may have.
WEEK ONE – introduction
- we will go over how you’re currently feeling and discover how it is you actually want to feel. no more playing small.
WEEK TWO – identity
- we will go deep and question everything so we can start building that solid internal foundation you’ve been looking for.
WEEK THREE – boundaries + codependency
- we will go over your relationship with boundaries and managing codependency to figure out what’s already working and also where you may need to be putting your attention to be a boundary bad ass in the future.
WEEK FOUR – self sabotage, fear of success + joy + failure
- we will create your own personalized version of success and discover what’s holding you back from standing in your true power.
WEEK FIVE – relationships, trust + fear of abandonment
- we will go over the roots of your relationships with men and women, untangle your history with trust and your analyze your ability to properly express your emotions.
WEEK SIX – false hope + self-doubt
- we will discover what exactly you may be holding onto and what about yourself keeps you in this position.
WEEK SEVEN – forgiveness
- we will uncover what your relationship with forgiveness is and how you can manage your pain moving forward.
WEEK EIGHT – gratitude
- we will spend time analyzing what’s already working in your life and where we can express more gratitude which ultimately will create more inner and outer peace.
By now, you may be asking yourself, who is this Amanda person anyway? Please allow me to introduce myself a little better.
I was involved with my narcissistic mother for 25 years of my life.
And not a season went by that I wasn’t confused, angry, tired and/or felt really alone.
But still I stuck around and I tried to make things work.
For years ….and years, — I put my mother’s wants and needs before my own.
Even when I bent so hard, I thought my back would break … still nothing.
And definitely no real change.
I remember crying from the physical pain as I was facing the roots of my own codependency.
It was brutal. But I knew I couldn’t go on living the way I was living.
I knew that even in my softer moments when I wanted to cave and give in, .. that I had to stay focused. I had to figure out what the fuck was going on and game plan my way out of my situation.
I battled feeling overwhelmingly guilty, disloyal and consistently burn out.
But I did it.
Often misunderstood and ruthless in my desire for more but I took my pain head on and started answering the questions;
Who did I want to be?
Who did I want to be with?
What did I want to be doing?
Where did I want to go?
What did AMANDA want?
I was tired of putting others before me.
I was tired of working at jobs where others took advantage of me
I was tired of having friends that only talked about themselves.
I was tired of having conversations with my mom that ended up in me always being wrong.
I was tired of worrying about things I couldn’t control.
I was tired of feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotional well being.
I was tired of being stuck in the past and only thinking about the future.
I wanted to be present.
I wanted to feel secure.
I wanted to laugh more and make decisions that felt really good to me.
I wanted to be free.
But I had to do the work.
I had to love myself, hold myself, forgive myself and grieve … alot.
I had to develop my own identity.
I had to become my own mother.
I had to look within and figure out exactly what I needed to know and uncover, to live a life that actually felt like mine.
Now, I’m dedicated to helping my clients gain that same clarity around the most confusing situation someone can be put in while also helping them build strong internal foundations that offer them the freedom, emotional stability and security they’ve been aching for.
Get ready to discover how scapegoat daughter’s just like you, are finally making real progress with their mindset and transforming their lives.
Get ready to feel like your own person and LOVE it.
Yes, .. it can be that easy.
Seriously though, what if:
- You never had to worry about whether or not you’re going to become like your mother? or where the next ‘flying money’ was coming from?
- you had the emotional stamina and strength to not allow the harder days to throw you into a downwards spiral?
- you were able to focus on you and what you love in your life without guilt or anxiety?
- you actually understood your own patterns and tendencies so much that you could finally make real changes?
- what if you learned to stand up for yourself without needing to be angry?
- what if you could approach what you don’t know with excitement rather than avoidance out of fear of looking ‘stupid?’
- what if your self worth was no longer based on how others see you but how YOU see …you?
- what if you learned to be assertive and ask for what you want with ease?
- what if you could shift your shame into wisdom and release all of that constant negative self-doubt and heavy emotional weight?
- You no longer had to choose between the past version of you and who you’re meant to become?
What can you look forward to?
- a major sense of self and developed self-worth
- an understanding of your relationship with boundaries and where in your life you could be more nurturing to what it is you actually want
- a clear picture of what your version of success is and what you need to let go of in order to get there
- massive security in your decision making.
- less guilt, less drama, less doubt, more goodness
We have spent a lot of time trying to understand another when our most direct line to peace and freedom is really just, tapping into ourselves.
I know it’s been rough but believe me when I say that there can be peace on the other side of anything.
it’s for you to define and discover … and it’s waiting for you.
Are you ready?