I’m definitely a do-er. I love getting shit done. I love multi-tasking and going beyond what’s expected of me. & I know where this came from. My mom was ruthless about always being productive. There was always more to do, more money to make, more cleaning to be done. With so much, if not all of her focus, on the external and zero focus on feelings or emotions, I then worked very hard, on the outside, to get her approval.…
Let’s talk about self-doubt. Let’s talk about what it feels like to never feel good enough. To relentlessly doubt your worth or value. You know what I’m talking about, … that persistent deep rooted limiting belief created within the relationship with our mothers. Constantly being told that your opinion is irrelevant. Your thoughts? Not important. Your feelings? Inconvenient and now you’re punished. Your questions? How dare you. Your version of the story? Always second guessed. We were never good enough.…
It’s normal to look up to your parents as they are your first example of what it’s like to be human. It’s normal to be proud of them and strive to be like them. & truth is, as a young girl, I very much idolized my mom in that same way. I would wait for her to get home everyday around 4pm, .. She would save her left over coffee for me And it was just the best feeling.…
I used to spend most of my time (unconsciously) in a state of pure irritation. Everything bothered me. Everything felt like a huge task. Everything felt like work. My life was constant chaos, drama and if it wasn’t one thing, it was most certainly the next. And it drained my energy. To then think like that, drained it even more. Anything out of my chosen routine, I was not interested in. I was stuck, rigid and had incredibly low patience.…
I know that most of us, if not all of us in this community – are highly empathetic humans. It is almost mathematical as for every narcissist there’s a co-dependent empath feeling immense sadness, rage or confusion but feeling too guilty to do anything about it. Lucky them, right? No more. Without women/men like us, the equation falls apart. So now, as we are choosing to wake up to the dysfunction and are unlearning toxic habits and moving through our…
I started off the year in a lot of pain. I actually remember crying to my sister on my living room floor on January 1st. I was carrying so much weight and felt so alone in doing so. It truly felt like everything was finally crashing down on me , .. Even though it took weeks after that day to really see a difference, I remember saying to myself, ‘something needs to change.’ I honestly had no idea what it…
The calm after the storm. The calm after you finally cut physical ties and connections with the one person who makes it impossible to heal forward. It’s real. You initially won’t believe it and will try to call it something else but it’s real. I know it and if you haven’t experienced it yet, today’s post may inspire you. Because, now, and I’ll happily make an assumption here if you’re reading this, — you’ve actively chosen to begin to shift…
Stillness or movement. Darkness or light. Rootedness or flow. Stability or adventure. Certain or child-like. Safety or freedom. Success or happiness. Masculine or feminine. For so long, I only believed I could identify with half of that list. And to survive in my childhood home, I had to be; Still (at least on the outside) Light (at least stay out of trouble) Stable (you get the pattern, by now) Certain Safe Successful (who would I be without a 4.0…
If you have embarked on any kind of healing journey, Whether accidental or not Once you get to focusing on the roots of childhood, You’ll begin to realize, after your patterns start to become clear to you, how many years you’ve spent riding out a story that didn’t belong to you. That wasn’t you. You may have pleased your life away for affection that was never consistent. You may have performed perfectly for years, just for acknowledgement that was always…
I grew up in an extremely un-loving home. My siblings and I were insanely conditioned to behave in a way that no matter what we were experiencing on the inside, that we needed to appear perfect on the outside. And to never tell the truth about what happened the night before. And never, ever, question what is given to you and just be ok with it. I now believe it was my mom’s attempt at relieving her own anxieties and…