the inner work

How I Manage My Off Days

One thing I’ve learned about myself this past year is that I am all about systems.

I’ve learned that creating systems, whether it’s about my nutrition, my fitness, my oral health, my business tasks, etc — ..is ideal for my personality.

I like clarity, organization and a plan.

Putting systems in place helps to keep me balanced, focused and accountable.

And I want to talk to you today about my system around managing my off days.

 

Because they’re real.

We all have them. Every single one of us.

Those days when you’re discouraged or just not into it.

Where nothing feels right or happens the way you want it, too.

You know, those days where you just want to scream. Yes girl, me too. 

Though, it is when I am opposite those moments that I recognize how much my commitment to my self love journey has helped to preserve my sanity.

(you can click here for my most recent self-love ideas)

And for the most part, I stay pretty steady.

But there are still days when I wake up …or moments when I am driving somewhere and those hell sent subconscious thoughts come creeping in, .. and I start to feel irritated, angry, jealous or frustrated.

and before I know it, ..I’m anywhere but present and so lost in my thoughts.

I can almost watch this happening, …and then I judge myself for feeling any of those emotions because,

‘what the hell …I’m working so hard on self development  …it shouldn’t still be this hard. Right? ‘

And I know that if I’m not careful, it can take over my whole mood.

And what’s worse than feeling shitty all day without really knowing why? 

 

I’m sure you can relate.

 

Truth is, most people fall off the wagon in recovery (lets face it; it’s fucking hard) and there can be a lot of guilt and shame that follow along with that.

I also know that those feelings aren’t fun and can completely keep us from maintaining our focus and getting back on track.

 

And while I completely understand because I have been there,

I’ve learned to also realize that when the heaviness does show back up again, it’s just an opportunity to really question what’s going on within.

So, I begin to check in and sometimes this reveals a lot;

Where’s my focus?

How have my decisions been?

How have I been spending my time?

Am I feeling more powerful or free? (my core values)

& let’s not forget the enormous opportunity to practice self compassion.

 

 

Because I used to beat myself up over it.

I assumed I needed to be rainbows and butterflies all the time and the consistency of that specific attitude determined how well I was doing.

When sometimes, I’m just down

Sometimes I’m just upset

Or get triggered by a smell or a memory

And other times I figure out I’m genuinely over thinking and it’s really not as bad as I believe it is.

 

Either way, I needed to learn to recognize when this happens and also how to walk myself back to my center.

I needed to shift my perspective and see all of the reactivity to those pain points as information.

Information that helps me go deeper to acknowledge, understand and then release whatever old energy or pain was activated but never cleared out.

 

So first, in my experience and now my advice to you,

Is that it’s really important to go down and feel the feelings

Feel the pain, grief, the rage, the fatigue.

work really hard at facing the truth. Whatever it is that is happening for you.

Just being real with the why of the pain is essential

Don’t deny it.

Denial is brain fog that you don’t want to sign up for,

or you’ll end up getting bitter and that resentment will come up all the time and fuck with your entire strategy for your future.

No thanks.

 

and then, and this is the hard part for me ..is to remind yourself that you really need to rest

it’s really important to stop sometimes ..

because I’ve noticed a lot of the time when I do start to feel heavy .. I haven’t balanced out my productivity with gentleness

with patience

with self-care

so the reminder of true rest couldn’t be more important.

for me, that’s like a 1/2 day or two

to slow it down

to walk it out

to stretch

to feel

to remember

to clarify my vision, confirm I’m in integrity

and then I work on getting back to my why, back to all that I love and want for myself

because those things should not be in question at all

and then I have to be a grown up and own my shit

and step back into it.

I feel. I rest. I clarify and I rise back up.

 

Because this journey we are on isn’t always easy.

there will always be a battle with the light and dark

and if you are going to show up, you’re going to fall and if you’re really going to play, you’re going to take hits ..

and sometimes you are going to lose.

its inevitable.

 

but you win, when you remember who you are

and you remember that it’s okay, you can always get back up

and start again.

This is your health.

It deserves your thoroughness, your stamina and your loving attention.

You are worth all of that.

 

 

Always thinking of you x

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2 Comments

  • Reply
    Cindy
    July 9, 2019 at 12:16 AM

    Amanda,
    Thank you for sharing your stories. I relate in many ways. Keep writing it’s inspirational. It gives people hope to overcome and move forward the best way possible.

    • Reply
      AmandaWhite
      July 14, 2019 at 7:57 PM

      Thank you so much for this. xox

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